Love the sight of bruises on my body,
Love the feeling of tears on my cheeks,
The familiar sound of hate in in my ears,
but the more I get the more I want to die.
Can only write depressing matter
positivity is only ever met with
knife in my spine I feel so much better,
can’t change the way I’ve always created this cancer.
Now in the present day I look
back and remember,
all the cuts & flames burned
down to embers,
the dim light inside my mind begs
I smother out the thoughts because
I’ve changed me.
I’ve changed. I’m better. I promise
pain digs up the past in my veins
and it burns,
pulling me back to the days where I
lived and learned,
to focus on reality and to not bend the reflection
in the mirror,
to not hate the person which is always the most
near & dear,
to accept love even when it is not
asked and given,
to stay alive when you feel so
unmotivated and so un-driven.
It’s easier than ever now to look back
how often the good in me had been
but it was nobody else’s fault in the end
Now everyday I let the positivity
grow and breathe.
I deserve all the strength I have gained
from my past,
and I refuse to ever let those
flames come back.
November 27th, 2018