Past to Present

Love the sight of bruises on my body,

but why?

Love the feeling of tears on my cheeks,

but why?

The familiar sound of hate in in my ears,

I try

but the more I get the more I want to die.

Can only write depressing matter

on paper,

positivity is only ever met with

an eraser,

knife in my spine I feel so much better,

can’t change the way I’ve always created this cancer.

Now in the present day I look

back and remember,

all the cuts & flames burned

down to embers,

the dim light inside my mind begs

to breath,

I smother out the thoughts because

I’ve changed me.

I’ve changed. I’m better. I promise

but remember,

pain digs up the past in my veins

and it burns,

pulling me back to the days where I

lived and learned,

to focus on reality and to not bend the reflection

in the mirror,

to not hate the person which is always the most

near & dear,

to accept love even when it is not

asked and given,

to stay alive when you feel so

unmotivated and so un-driven.

It’s easier than ever now to look back

and accept,

how often the good in me had been

so mislead,

but it was nobody else’s fault in the end

but me.

Now everyday I let the positivity

grow and breathe.

I deserve all the strength I have gained

from my past,

and I refuse to ever let those

flames come back.

November 27th, 2018

5 thoughts on “Past to Present

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