Heart filled and plump pumped with anger.
Tumultuous thoughts sincerely spoken to scare.
Alone, I wept and grew to gruesomely regret,
All of the fallacious words they’ll never forget.
Words I spontaneously spit out of spite,
Too ignorant to rectify that it wasn’t right.
Left to simply wait and maliciously meander,
In my head which is reeling to remember.
In the end you can’t ever take those words back,
But you can send out new ones, kind ones the world may lack.
I think we have all at one point been a person we didn’t want to be and have said things in the past we today would never dare to speak. My past haunts me and I often think of the friendships/relationships with my family I have ruined or could have potentially ruined. Words I have said to others that I will wish for the rest of my life I could take back. Mainly because words spoken out of hatred are so unnecessary.
Anger, stress, & anxiety can be released in many different ways and unfortunately I think people regularly choose the negative ways over the positive ones. Some people say things they don’t mean, lash out, or stretch the truth. Others become physically destructive to property, others, or even themselves.
The hardest part is how easy it is to get sucked in to the negativity, and without even maybe meaning to letting it completely consume your character. It’s hard to be the bigger person, hold your breath and walk away. If someone or something is pushing you down the urge to fight fire with fire can grow to be intense.
What I’ve learned is even though it is challenging to learn to walk away, the more situations you learn to let go the better you will feel in the long run. So many fights with friends I can reflect upon and see exactly where some of my words and reasonings were invalid because I created them out of hate. Likewise, I have reflected on some fights with friends where I did try my hardest to walk away the bigger person. I spoke my truth, gave my honesty, and if they refused to accept or listen civil in return I calmly walked away and wished them only the best.
Sometimes that’s all you can do, is wish people the best. People in the end will believe what they want to believe. I try to surround myself these days with people who are down to earth and are open minded. Putting myself in the situation of creating a relationship with someone who is one-sided and heavily closed minded is insatiable.
I also strongly believe that a little kindness can go a long way for most people. You never know a person’s story looking at them only skin deep. You don’t know what they have been through or are currently going through. Therefore, no matter who it is or what they have done to hurt me I try to just offer what I can and hope it helps.
Taylor Swift once said, “No matter what happens in life, be good to people. Being good to people is a wonderful legacy to leave behind.” I try to keep that in the back of my mind. Help each other heal.